


why sleep (when you're all i dream about?)

by wintae



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: ??? - Freeform, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Nightmares, Self-Esteem Issues, cl is definitely taeyongs mom in this, i could've written more but i didnt, maybe ill make a sequel someday, this is so ambiguous, wedding planners taeyong and donghyuck, what the hell is this tho, yuta and seulgi are nurses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-26
Updated: 2016-11-26
Packaged: 2018-09-02 10:17:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8663632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wintae/pseuds/wintae
Summary: Taeyong has some nightmares, some insecurities, and a lot of love for Nakamoto Yuta.





	

**Author's Note:**

> this surprisingly didn't take a lot of time to write! i only get inspiration for couples i don't ship that much lately... w/e i hope you enjoy \\\

It’s getting harder and harder for Taeyong to want to get to bed. He’s scared of the world that blooms behind his eyes in slumber; the haunting world telling him that he’s not enough for Yuta. The voices from the world are seeping into his real life, and Taeyong doesn’t know what to do. 

 

Sleep was never a good thing to Taeyong. If he sleep often, it meant he was having a bad time dealing with his mind. He didn’t like the general idea as it was. There’s so much he could be doing if he didn’t need sleep. Maybe he should become a vampire. No, that’s crazy talk. That’s from the novel Taeyong read the other day. Vampires don’t exist. 

 

Taeyong went to bed to snuggle close to Yuta after 2 AM and he dreamed of vampires chasing him. Yuta was one of the vampires. 

 

~~

 

Taeyong works from home most of the time. He hold appointments in their living room, with his coworker- their next-door neighbor. That was the logic that had Yuta’s want for a dog was cracking Taeyong’s armor. 

 

“You could take care of him during the day! We can both train him, too. You can take work breaks to play with a fluffy puppy. I would kill for that,” Yuta says, flailing his arms. Taeyong gives a half-smile. “I know you wanted a cat, but Hansol is over way too much, and Jaemin’s allergic as well.” Taeyong nods. 

 

He’s less close with Hansol as Yuta is, but they’ve known each other for longer. He still scares him in a way- they were both gay and single, and Taeyong is supposed to believe that they never did anything together. Taeyong wants to trust Yuta, he _should_ trust Yuta, but it’s so hard. 

 

He supposes Yuta has his own set of people to worry about from Taeyong’s side. He has admited to Yuta that he’s had sex with Ten, made out with Mark, and dated a Chinese boy nicknamed Winwin halfway to a serious relationship. 

 

He’s never done anything with Jaehyun on principle, but he can see how it would be hard to believe. Taeyong knows way too much about Jaehyun to ever consider dating or being intimate with him and Jaehyun has expressed similar thoughts. They moved past the point of ‘could date’ way too long ago. Jaehyun was Yuta and Taeyong’s biggest fan when they began dating, so Yuta is more trusting of him than Taeyong is of Hansol. 

 

In Taeyong’s defense, Hansol was not very supportive of Taeyong. He didn’t see past Taeyong’s prickly exterior to get to the real stuff that Yuta fell in love with. He didn’t think Taeyong was good enough for Yuta, and Taeyong worked extra hard for Yuta to prove this to Hansol. It eventually worked. 

 

“I’ll think about it,” Taeyong concedes, his brain swimming. Maybe that would be a good Christmas present. Or maybe Taeyong could propose. “But I would only want a smaller dog.”

 

“If that’s your condition, then I’m all for it,” Yuta says, pecking Taeyong’s lips as he goes towards the dishwasher. “Dinner was amazing by the way. Did I mention how lucky I am that my boyfriend is a fantastic cook? I’m very lucky.” Taeyong smiles and blushes. 

 

“Oh, did I tell you? Some guy asked Jaehyun out,” Taeyong says, still eating the last of his chicken. 

 

“Really? Who is it?” Yuta begins to wash some of the dishes. The scene is familiar, domestic, and the background music is a wave of comfort. 

 

“This guy Doyoung. He’s Ten’s new manager, which means he can deal with Ten’s craziness, so Jaehyun and company will be manageable. He was over with Ten when Jaehyun came over and he just kinda… started talking to him. And now they’re going on a date.” 

 

“Whoa, is he cute?”

 

“Yeah, I guess. Very tall, looks a little like a bunny. Jaehyun likes him, and from Ten’s point of view, he has a good character.” 

 

“I suppose we’ll see how they work out. It would be nice if he would settle down.” Taeyong nods. Jaehyun’s been stuck in the bachelor life for too long, especially since his best wingman is cohabiting and extremely settled with a boy, as well with most of their other friends. Jaehyun is used to being lonely as an only child, but he shouldn’t have to. He should be with people, out in the world. Jaehyun is the kindest, most compassionate person Taeyong has ever met, and he thanks his lucky stars that he’s met such a lovely friend. “How was work? Did you get a new project?” 

 

“Oh, yeah.” Taeyong works with a boy named Donghyuck as a wedding planning duo. Donghyuck was Mark’s (boy?) friend who expressed interest in Taeyong’s line of work while in college for a hospitality major. Taeyong took him under his wing, and the rest is history. “Sooyoung’s getting married.”

 

“Seulgi’s friend?” Seulgi works with Yuta at the hospital; they’re both ER nurses. They’ve gone out to drink after work multiple times to wallow in their sorrow and talk about how obscenely gay they are. “Who is she marrying?” 

 

“Yook Sungjae. They went to college together and went on a blind date that actually worked out.” 

 

“Oh, I love those couples. Good for her. Are you done?” Taeyong nods. Yuta dries his hands and takes Taeyong’s plate. 

 

That night, Taeyong dreams of Jaehyun turning into a big dog and eating Yuta, so Hansol blames Taeyong. Yuta wakes up a bit when Taeyong does this time, and presses a kiss on Taeyong’s face. Taeyong falls back asleep for the first time in a while. 

 

~~

 

One day, Taeyong doesn’t go to sleep at all. 

 

Instead, he takes a long walk with his headphones stuffed under his beanie and hood. His breath is visible, and when he gets to the park 3 miles from his apartment building, the grass is frosty and crunchy. He intended to sit on a bench, but the metal is too cool and slick from the cold air. 

 

He finds his way to a swing and plants himself there. He just swings and turns up his music until he can’t hear himself think. 

 

The dawn crawls in the next thing he knows, and he trudges back to his house, hands in hoodie pocket, hands shaking from the cold metal chains of the swing, and head swimming in nothing. 

 

He wakes Yuta up with American-style pancakes and smiles. Yuta smiles back. Taeyong’s brain returns to its body from where it was freezing in the park. 

 

~~

 

“What’s up?” Yuta asks. He’s always been too good at noticing when Taeyong was sad. He had a harder time with some other emotions, but the second Taeyong starts to sigh, Yuta is there without fail, offering his never-ending love and comfort. 

 

“Rough day at work,” Taeyong replies. He runs a hand through his hair and sighs. Yuta just stays by his side. He knows that Taeyong just needs to not be pushed to let up. Taeyong takes patience. He’s sorry for taking up so much of Yuta’s patience. He feels like he might be monopolizing it. 

 

“One couple dissolved their engagement,” Taeyong says eventually, leaning into Yuta’s shoulder. Yuta is less bony than Taeyong, and better for hugs and makeshift pillows. He feels bad that he isn’t like that. He’s all skin and bones. “It’s always uncomfortable, because we still need payment for our time, but it’s not that much. It just… feels like we’re wasting our time. But I feel bad too, because the girl was a huge bitch. She kept walking all over the guy and was very snarky. She also hit on me at one point. I’m glad that he doesn’t have to live his life with that girl anymore, but I just… This is the stuff that makes me question why I took this job.”

 

“Taeyong, you were overjoyed when your first wedding plan was executed. I have never seen you as happy as you were on that day, when Krystal and Jongin got married. It was the first time you did it without your mother, and you looked so unbelievably ecstatic. You looked proud of yourself, which you barely are. This is why you do this. Your mother raised you to be independent and never expected that you would take on what she did, but you did it anyways. You’ve made your own way into the world by doing what you love. You do it, because you love this. You grew up in this. Give yourself more credit, Taeyong.” Taeyong let out a shaky breath against Yuta’s collarbone. Yuta turned and pressed a kiss to the top of his head. “I love you, Lee Taeyong. I know you love this job.”

 

“Thank you,” Taeyong murmurs against Yuta’s shoulder. “I love you.” 

 

Taeyong falls asleep on Yuta’s shoulder. In his dream, Yuta and the nasty fiancée became one and started yelling at Taeyong. When he woke up, he was in his bed. 

 

~~

 

“Have you and Yuta ever thought about getting married?” Donghyuck asks as they organize a few files. They had just finished up their last appointment rather late at night, and Yuta is working overnight. Their work for 3 upcoming weddings was spread all over Taeyong’s designated work table, along with a bowl of tortilla chips and homemade salsa. 

 

“I don’t know if he has, but I definitely have,” Taeyong replies. “I mean, I live in the wedding world. I grew up in the wedding world.” 

 

“Yeah, but your mom had that weird thing about getting married when she’s a planner,” Donghyuck says. 

 

It’s true. Taeyong’s single mother, Lee Chaerin, raised him with a strong grip and a kind face. She was half mother, half best friend. She had him the day after the 6th wedding she planned. She doesn’t remember his father’s name, and told Taeyong that when he was 5. She was a great wedding planner, but she swore that she would never get married while she was a planner, which she always was. She retired a few years ago at Taeyong’s urging since she gained back issues and wanted to travel the world. Last he heard, she was in Dubai 2 weeks ago. She also owns a house in France and she swears that she’ll leave it to Taeyong in her will. 

 

“I’m not my mom,” Taeyong murmurs, checking a few things off of a to do list. That’s even truer than all previous allegations. Taeyong would do anything for his mom. He loves her to pieces. He idolizes her and took the same job as her. However, he took the job because he enjoys it. He swears up and down that he would end up at this job even if he was born in a different family. He’ll never be as spontaneous and free-wheeling as his mom. He also really wants to get married. 

 

His every fantasy lately is that he and Yuta could get married, even if it’s without a license for now. He just wants to be Yuta’s for the rest of his life. 

 

“I really want to marry him.” 

 

Donghyuck opens his mouth to say something, but Mark walks in just then. 

 

“Hey Donghyuck, your dad left a message on our home phone,” he says, coming up to their table to take a few tortilla chips. “How the hell do you guys work in this mess?” 

 

“We have a method,” Donghyuck and Taeyong deadpan at the same time, already used to hearing this question. 

 

“Also, why didn’t you just pick up?” Donghyuck asks, wrinkling his nose at Mark. 

 

“Your dad doesn’t like me. Plus, I was busy,” Mark whines. 

 

“He likes you fine. You’re just scared of him.” Donghyuck starts stacking up the proof invitations and putting the final touches to the spreadsheets he was working on. “Also, what are you busy with?” 

 

“With stuff.” Mark sounds suspicious. Taeyong looks at him with questioning eyes, and Mark mouths ‘I’ll tell you later’. 

 

“Alright, I’m off. We just have Sungjae and Sooyoung at ten, right? I think we’re finalizing the invitations. Don’t stay up too late.” 

 

“Yes, that’s all for tomorrow,” Taeyong says, getting up. “I’ll finish up on this one email, and then I’ll try and sleep. See you tomorrow!” Donghyuck and Mark wave as they go out the door. 

 

Taeyong sends the email and then watches some drama reruns. He gets to his empty bed at 3:07 AM, because he needed it to be a prime number. He dreams that his mom dies, and he wasn’t in the will at all. 

 

~~

 

Yuta has a week off of work and Taeyong blocked out the week to be with him. They spent the first half of the week in Japan, so Yuta could visit family, and Taeyong could stumble through asking for permission to propose to Yuta via translation from a customer he stayed in contact with (his first lesbian wedding). Sana and Nayeon were always referring their friends to Taeyong and send them endless photos and videos of their adopted daughters, Chaeyeon and Chaeryoung. 

 

Yuta’s parents cried and accepted, giving him a warm hug. Sana cried a little bit as well, and Nayeon congratulated him. Chaeyeon did as well in her 5-year-old voice, and Chaeryoung babbled somewhat. 

 

At one point, Taeyong learned about the concept of Hanahaki. The disease of unrequited love, and you lose feelings or die. 

 

Taeyong dreamed that he barfed up flowers on his wedding day. 

 

~~

 

Taeyong said he had some errands to run for a wedding on Thursday, but he’s really buying some Very Important Things. He hops in his car with an umbrella and an anxious heart. 

 

The first is a stop he’d been familiar with for 2 weeks. Another contact from previous weddings led him to a shelter nearby that would willingly let him adopt a dog. 

 

“Taeyong! Today’s the day, huh? How are you?” Taehyung calls with a large smile. 

 

“I’m alright. Nervous,” Taeyong replies, wiping his boots and closing his umbrella. “It’s raining so much.” 

 

“Really? I didn’t notice. I suppose I’ll have to cancel outside playtime today.” Taehyung aimlessly leans against the desk. Taeyong smiles fondly. Taehyung was Jimin’s best man and was always very scatter-brained. However, he had a huge heart that cared for all of the dogs in the shelter and all of his friends, no matter the situation. “Time to pick up Sakura?” Sakura was the 1-year-old puppy that Taeyong had chose to buy. Sakura wasn’t the name he chose, but he felt it would be a fitting name since it was Japanese. She was a playful Cavalier King Charles Spaniel with the cutest and softest ears. 

 

“Yeah.” Taeyong splays his fingers and curls them into his palm. He had a dream last night that Sakura died before Yuta met her and he broke up with Taeyong on the spot. It was relieving that Taehyung led him to Sakura’s playspace to find her healthy and happy, tail wagging at the sight of Taeyong. “Has she been good?” 

 

“Yes, she has! I think she can tell that she’s going to be moved out soon. She really likes playing with you, and I think she’ll do well.” Taehyung opens the pen and lets Taeyong step inside. He unhooks her old collar and hands it to Taeyong. He puts on her new one and latches the leash to it. Sakura licks his hands as he hooks the leash and pants happily. Taehyung pets her and nuzzles against her, saying his own goodbye. He brings them to the front, and with some signatures and promises, Taeyong walks out with a puppy and a stack of forms, naming her as his own. Taeyong lets her into the back, where he placed a dog bed and a chew toy. 

 

The next stop is to pick up the ring from the jewelers. About half of the couples he’s worked with got their rings from this one place, and for good reason. They were reliable, not too pricey, and gave good options. The one Taeyong bought had a silver band and diamonds surrounding a red tourmaline, Yuta’s birthstone in a color that represents love. He was going to get a simpler, less expensive one, but his mom had called a few days before they went to Japan and insisted she give him money for the ring (read: he had no choice since she transferred the money electronically while they were talking on the phone).

 

After picking it up, he hurried back to the car so Sakura wouldn’t get worried. From there, he drove home, his heart on his sleeve, in a box, over Sakura, in Yuta’s hands. 

 

~~

 

Taeyong had no bad dreams when he slept, with their new dog sleeping on the floor next to their bed, and with his fiancé holding him close and smiling in his sleep. In fact, he didn’t dream at all.

**Author's Note:**

> let me know if you want a sequel (?) i have a few ideas
> 
> <3333  
> kudos and comments appreciated!!!


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